Director: Nickolaj Arcel
Writer(s): Akiva Goldsman, Jeff Pinkner, Anders Thomas Jensen, Nickolaj Arcel.
Cast: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Katheryn Winnick.
People familiar with the source material (or who have kept up with film news over the past decade or so) are most certainly aware of the amount of time Stephen King's sprawling(and moody) seven book epic "Dark Tower" series has spent in "development hell." Talk of films, TV series, or a combination of the two have been all over the place as the property moved from studio to studio in an attempt to find a home willing to spend millions on an admittedly cult series. Finally it stopped at Sony Pictures, who revealed a startling concept: that it would be one movie, with kinda/sorta/maybe more. This, of course, created a massive question: is it possible to adapt the whole thing into one movie?
If nothing else, Arcel's film says "Yes...but not very well."
Perhaps the most impressive thing about Arcel's 95 minute quicky is how they've taken seven books (along with references to dozens more) and crammed it into a film and had it be in any way, shape or form coherent. It IS an impressive act of condensation, but it is also indicative of the film's primary flaw: so many things fly by that it never takes much time to breathe.
The plot is as simple and by-the-numbers as it can be, to the point where anyone who has ever seen a movie before will be instantly familiar with the formula: boy of indeterminate age and socioeconomic status imagines fantasy world, discovers fantasy world is real, meets larger than life hero turned grumpy jerk(complete with "I ain't no hero...not anymore" declaration), and goes on quest to save the world from inhuman villain. While this isn't TOO much of a departure from King's source material (which we'll likely leave out-we're here to talk the movie on its own terms), it is still so mindlessly repetitive to be almost insulting. Not only is it repetitive, it's convenient: despite the landscape being described as massive and empty, it takes out heroes two minutes to discover civilizations who then neatly explain the plot (and invoke The Shining) in roughly two minutes. After this, the heroes find the bad guy hideout in record time as well. For a story so wrapped up in size and distance, the film finds itself with a hideously limited scope.
None of this is meant to suggest that there are no redeeming values to The Dark Tower, though: there are moments where one is almost engaged by the story. A quick but nevertheless stirring combat sequence against a weird demon thing, a menacingly cordial moment between villain and supporting character in a New York apartment, and a private moment of gun practice all provide moments of genuine interest that are, admittedly, mostly dashed by their uniform quickness (no scene seems to last more than two minutes in the film). Buoying everything is some fun flourishes of our heroes gun prowess (the film boasts some of the coolest re-loading sequences ever) and a suitably magnetic performance by Idris Elba as The Gunslinger Roland. Unfortunately, he doesn't have much to do as the film firmly sets its focus on young Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor, trying hard), who is now basically Danny Torrance, and his shambling arc. In fact, Roland himself mostly seems to exist solely for looking cool and shooting guns and setting his jaw as Jake tries to get him to be a hero again(ignoring the fact that, well, Roland's act of vengeance would still save the world if successful, but it's all about the motivation it seems).
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| "I mean...killin' me WOULD stop my evil plan, alright alright alright." |
Perhaps the most disappointing bit is McConaughey, who seems oddly restrained in his role as Walter, The Man In Black. While McConaughey struts about in a cool costume and certainly LOOKS good, there seems to be a fog over the actors face when he should be hamming things up. The performance is a good microcosm for the adaptation as a whole: while the rest of the movie is doing its thing, Elba and McConaughey seem to be attempting more gravitas with the roles, as if attempting to emulate the source material versions. It's a frustrating performance, even if it does occasionally land well.
Visually and technically there's nothing specifically offensive about The Dark Tower: it moves fast and loud and makes no apologies for being little more than an action movie hidden beneath an impossibly thin shell of urban fantasy(though for one action sequence is seems to become Lord Of The Rings with guns, which is interesting while feeling out of place). As such, its action sequences generally work more often than they don't. However, everything else is jumbled and awkward, in particular a sequence where Roland recites his admittedly ghastly creed ("I kill with my heart") and teaches it to a kid over a swelling, poignant musical piece. In fact, the score is atrocious. If there is one irredeemable sin happening here(and there are most certainly more, considering the plotting) it's the awkward, stilted score.
Final Word: Fans of the series ought to stay far, far away. While nearly every scene is meant to reference the book (and King's work in general), and some comedy sequences are word-for-word from the second book, there will only be grief here ("Death, but not for you Gunslinger" fans!). Those not tied to the film will find a simplistic, mindless action movie with a few interesting moments and little more.
Final Rating: Two and a Quarter stars. Barely passes.
